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Friday, June 25, 2010

UGH!

I gained 2.2lbs this week....that's all.  

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Selfish & Lazy

Ask me to describe myself in two words & that is what I would tell you right now.  At least as far as weight loss is concerned.  Seriously, I need to kick my own butt ~ but I'm not sure I've quite figured out how to do that yet. 

I want babies.  I want babies SOON!  I want babies so bad it hurts more than anything to hear someone else is having a baby.  I have a friend that just found out they are having their third - exciting, right?  To most - yet I'm sitting here annoyed as heck because she's a year younger than I am and will have 3 babies before I have one!  UGH!  

YET, I know that if I lose weight my chances of having a successful pregnancy will increase A LOT!  Sooo ~ doesn't it seem that I should be working my butt off to lose that weight? Well, of course...but, am I?   NOPE!  I have become the MASTER of all excuses ~ granted, while most of them have validity to them, they are NOT the absolutes I am treating them as.  

So, here are MY excuses & my chance to play devil's advocate with myself.  I more need to put it in writing to try to really smack myself across the face with it.

My Excuse:
I have PCOS.  It does, after all, CAUSE weight gain.  In fact, I was thin & healthy before the PCOS.  

My Smack:
PCOS caused about 1/3 of the weight gain that has gotten you to this point.  The rest was you feeling sorry for yourself and eating WAY more than you should.

My Excuse:
I have fibromyalgia, and it makes it impossible for me to exercise because the pain is just TOO GREAT!  

My Smack:
Yes, it hurts...BUT it's proven that the more you exercise, the more the pain subsides and the better you feel... It requires sucking it up and dealing with the pain for a short time, but the long term is worth it AND, quite frankly, your case of fibromyalgia is a lot less severe than some people you have encountered recently.  

My Excuse:  (and really, the most pathetic of them all)
I don't have time to cook a healthy meal every night, and to pack lunch....and I can't order salads & stuff at restaurants because I'm allergic to the preservatives on the lettuce.

My Smack:
Really, do I even need to say anything but GET OVER IT?  

Bottom Line:
Yes, weight loss is going to be harder for me than a person without all of the extra medical conditions...BUT it  isn't IMPOSSIBLE and it is NECESSARY for my health, and for babies.  I OWE it to that sweet little spirit waiting to come to this earth.  I owe it to my dear husband who is wanting babies just as much as I do....and I owe it to my Father in Heaven who has given this body to me as a gift.  

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Well darn...

...I weighed in yesterday, and while I didn't gain any weight, I certainly didn't lose any either.  Well, .2lbs....yippee!  I have lost a total of 8 since we technically started June 1st - so that's good I suppose.  Blah...it's a new week...which means I have a new opportunity to kick it's butt...right?  

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Exercising

is HARD. I mean, I know getting into the habit is hard, but for me, it's actually painful & it bites.  I used to walk 3-5miles before work at least 4 times a week... now I can barely get a mile without feeling like I want to die.  

They tell me if I start slow & work my way up it will get better...but with this pain it's hard to believe.  Just my normal daily walking (around the office/home/grocery store & etc.) makes the tops of my leg hurt for several hours...and that's nothing compared to the pain in my feet.  I can barely walk after sitting for as little as 5 minutes.  

I NEED to find the motivation to keep trying, but I'm not sure I have it in me right now...and being a big whiny baby is a lot easier. 

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Moderation in ALL things

OK, I'm not great at the whole moderation thing....actually, in all honesty....I am AWFUL at it.  For example....
Weight Watchers has some yummy ice cream treats that are low in points (if you aren't familiar with the WW point system, I'll post about it later...).  So, in an effort to cut calories, but still have our treats, we bought a box of ice cream bars (they had chocolate ice cream with an oreo crumble crust thing) that were so good! Each one is only 2pts (in comparison to 8-10 points for most ice cream bars) so I thought we were doing pretty good....UNTIL I sat down and at 3 last night....yep, that's right THREE.  Seriously, what is wrong with me!?! On the plus side - it was the last three, so I have to go without now (at least until we get paid and have money in our grocery budget again Wednesday).  
So, just another point testifying to me that I NEED to work on portion control FIRST.  So, I have decided I'm going to pull out all of my books and do Weight Watchers from home.  I may sign up to the website, just because you get some DIVINE recipes...but in any case, the points system is going to be quickly re-incorporated into my diet!  


Friday, June 11, 2010

I lied....

I wrote the last post yesterday morning with good intentions ~ but Matt was still home when I was getting ready (which he never is) and I totally forgot to actually weigh in....so, today is my official weigh-in day (and I've already done it, so we're good to go!)....  wish me luck!! 

Thursday, June 10, 2010

And so it begins...

I did my official weigh-in this morning (we had started a small weight loss competition with some friends that I'm actually no longer part of so I've lost probably about 5lbs over the last weekish but I'm just going to start with this morning's number for tracking purposes).  

My plan:

I know my limitations and weaknesses so I have to start slow.  As far as my eating habits I am going to start with portion control.  I am also going to wean myself off of processed sugars (something I was told would help lessen the effects of the fibromyalgia) and increase my water in-take by a lot!  The actual food I eat probably won't sound the healthiest, but I know by starting with the portion control it'll help (and once we can go to the grocery store next Friday I'll buy foods to work more on the actual type of foods I'm eating!)

As for exercise:  this is where the fibromyalgia really will limit me.  I read that exercise for a fibromyalgia patient is like a two edged sword.  If you get into a normal routine, over time your body will hurt less on a normal basis. At the same time though, exercising will make it hurt more - a lot more - for a while.  It's suggested that where a normal routine to build your endurance will go in say 15 minute increments, I should only go in 5 minute increments.  Right now I can walk about a mile before the pain consumes me - which is about 15-20 minutes (depending how the pain was when I started) so that's where I'm going to start.  I'll walk a mile once or twice a day for the next 2 weeks.....then increase by a half a mile and so forth.

We finally brought our bikes down  from Cleveland so I'll probably test the waters and see how I do on that as well.  They make for a good date with Matt so hopefully I can bike for at least a little while.  

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Weight Loss

So, we all know a healthy weight is essential for our well-being, but for me it's taken on a whole new level.  I was recently told if I lost 30% of my body weight (yes, that's a ton!) then I would be 10x more likely to be able to have a successful pregnancy. So, that's my goal...30%.  Obviously I would love to say I am going to do it in X amount of months and from this day forward things are going to go great....HOWEVER, we all know it NEVER works that way!  I am human - and while my intentions are good certain vices (like toft's ice cream) get the best of me more often than I like!  On top of that, I was also recently diagnosed with Fibromyalgia which makes exercising more of a challenge for me than most.  So, my weight loss journey is going to be just that - a journey...more than likely, a LONG journey I want to invite you on when you can join to help motivate me and keep me on track.  As we all know, we do much better when we feel we are accountable to someone other than ourselves, so that's where I need YOU.  Please, keep me in check, keep me accountable! 

I will post at a minimum of once a week (when I do each weekly weigh in) but more than likely will be checking in more often (especially as I get frustrated and hit those proverbial "walls").  If you have any tips/tricks that have worked for you, please feel free to share!  If you want to join the journey yourself, please do!  I can even add you as an author so you can post here as well.  The one thing I ask for (and quite frankly demand) is that all comments/post stay positive & respectful.  There is no room for ill judgment here.